We all have to grow up at some stage, Dont we... ?! We are all children at heart, we hear this all the time, but is it true? Is it just a phase within our growth cycle we grow out of, or is it that our environment eventually shapes us to suit a stereotype that were supposed to become, in order to be accepted within the reality were living in!

Hello everyone, and happy Sunday.

I know it has been a couple of minutes since I have posted an actual blog post on here. So I figured I'd come back and write about something I've been experiencing lately.

What can you do when life gets hard? That is a question I've been asking myself lately. Since I have experienced myself in October.I am going to write a post that is pretty personal for me. A question that has been on my mind for a while now.

Where do I belong?

where do i belong?

Do you ever get that feeling? Where you feel like no matter who you are around or with, you just don't belong anywhere? Even around friends I've known for years from high school or new friends from work, I just feel like I don't belong anywhere. And let me tell you, it's a sucky feeling to feel.

It makes me wonder why I feel this way. Why suddenly do I feel like I've outgrown everything? I haven't quite found that answer yet, but I have been personally working on myself to get over some things and through some things that I feel like people just wouldn't understand.

Getting over a relationships, and getting over losing some friendships because of stupid reasons. We all have our issues in life to get through, and whether we do it with someone or alone, it's not easier or harder one way or the other. Don't let anyone tell you that. It is nice to have people there for you in case you need some support, but to those like me who think it's best to try and fly solo, that's okey, too.

not always do we belong here?

Now don't get me wrong. I love the friends that I have, and I love where I am at in life. I have finally gotten to a point where I am in my own apartment, and I only have to abide by my rules. That's a great place in life, and maybe that's my place. Maybe that is where I belong. One thing I have learned in life, is happiness isn't just because you have a lot of people in your life. I'm learning maybe my happiness is just being alone. Where I know I can't be hurt, or stabbed in the back.

But, We've all been there. We've all had that moment after an argument with a friend that you get that feeling in your gut that you are losing that friend. It's a feeling like no other. It's a feeling that will drive you crazy, and make you wonder how you stop it.

I've felt this feeling more than I care to admit. The feeling gets even worse when there is no argument. When you feel yourself drifting apart from this person you care so much for. The question always remains the same, at least for me...how do I stop it?

And honestly, I've found the honest answer, most of the time, is you can't. Growing apart from people is a natural thing of life. Granted, sometimes the feeling is false, and you're just missing that person. Maybe you don't see them as much as you once did; that does NOT mean you are growing apart. It could just mean that life is getting busy, and when it comes down to it, you'll still be there for that person.

In my 20 years here on Earth, I've learned this about friends: they come and go. The friends that stay, are the friends that you will forever be tied to emotionally. They say once you are friends for 7 years, that you'll be friends for life. However, that isn't always the case. Sometimes life takes people in different directions, and while you can remain friends, you might notice you don't speak as often. You don't keep up on their life events. Next thing you know, you're getting a wedding invite, and you didn't even know they were with someone.

The feeling of losing a friend is a feeling that life brings. Actually losing the friend is a really sucky thing. I've had friendships ruined over stupid arguments; I think we all have. I think we all have that one friend in middle school, that if we could go back and just stop ourselves from liking the same person they liked, you'd have an extra friend.

There is no easy way to get through this awkward stage in a friendship. If there isn't an argument that was had, and you're losing someone, it's time to face that maybe they want to go. It's a hard fact of life. Not everyone wants to remain friends, and you can't make them stay. Maybe their views differ from yours. Maybe they have a crush on you, and you didn't feel the same. I'm not saying in any way that should be a reason not to be friends with someone, but I've been there. I've left a friendship for a good while because I had feelings, they didn't, and it hurt to see them with someone else.

My best advice in dealing with this feeling, is to take a deep breath. Inhale and exhale. If you can, talk to them, see if it they are feeling it to. It never hurts to see where a friend stands on your friendship. If there is a legitimate distance between the two of you, odds are both of you are aware of the distance.

back yourself and belong where you be happy!

Another thing to realize, before I go, is to remember that just because you are losing 1 friend, does not mean you don't have any friends. It may hurt to see a friend go, but don't forget about the other friends you have. Good friends will want to be there for you. If you have friends that don't want to be there, then I believe it's time to re-evaluate your friendships. Isn't it amazing when you see some individuals that still have that spark of youth within them, how can that be, as if life isn't stressful enough!

But how do they do it?

How can some people live so freely, with so much passion, that nothing seems to shake them?

Do they harness some special powers or are they on some crazy magical medication that we don't know about, and if so where can we get some from, Right!

The truth isn't in medications or anything mystical, believe me I've looked!
These individual simply understand themselves and understand what they react to. See they know themselves and they know their happiness.

this is not where I belong

It's funny when we look back at our childhood and revisit those special memory's through home recordings, pictures and even story's from our loved ones, " you were so cheeky, full of life blah, blah, blah" It's hard to imagine at times that was us, so what changed along the way, when did we become so emotionless and so mature that it causes us to sometimes criticize others when there having fun.
As I explained in past blogs, we interoperate the world around us through our emotions and if our emotions are created with us, that means we judge the world through our highest state of feeling. No wonder we cannot relate to such a feeling of expressiveness, how can we if it's inexistent within us.

It's important to remember that we are still that young, cheeky adventurous child we once were, these qualities are never lost, only hidden. We put them in a box and clutter all life's stresses over them, until they are no longer visible to us, unless we go in search for them again.
It's not until someone reminds us through an emotionally spontaneous event that the child within is still existent, but even then its only existent for a brief moment and forgotten again.

Let me ask you this, once we learn how to ride a cycle do we ever forget?

No, we don't, but a lot of times were scared to even try, just in case we fail and embarrass ourselves, the shame of falling down for all to see would be unimaginable. We would be the laughing-stock of the town, but why do we fear to fail in something we have already mastered.

Let's reflect this concept within us, have we really forgotten how to be that bubble amazing person we once were or are we just scared to even try, as the world may criticize us, that we might call us childish for expressing our true colours. Is it really childish to be happy, is happiness really that funny, I think not. And* how can you really be accepted by others if you don't accept yourself!*

Let's think about it, how can you bake the most amazing dish if you never try it. Know your recipe, know your happiness and serve it to the world.

If you love and except yourself for who you are, others will sure love you back, and if they don't maybe there not meant to be a part of your display. After all were all unique in our own ways that's what makes life so interesting. Salt wasn't meant to be with sugar.

Be true to yourself and in return life will be true to you.
Try this, next time you get an urge to dance to your favourite song at a social gathering, be the first to get up and start dancing, evoke those playful emotions within yourself and after some time you will notice others will be infected by your happiness.

A lot of the times we do so well at adapting in situations that we become a stranger to our own reflection, just remember that child you once were, that would run around with an imagination that could create a world of intrigue and curiosity still exists within you.

So feel the beat next time you hear your favourite song on the radio, get up and start dancing, celebrate your life and your existence, because were all truly amazing, but only when we believe we are!

As always guys, have a great rest of your day. I will see you all in the next post.

You have seen my thought process in this post, and while I haven't gotten it all figured out, I think I will be okay. 🙂